December 7, 2010
Such a whirlwind....
It has been a traumatic and chaotic year, with its share of ups and downs. Now, it is a time for planning, and prioritizing.
All of the events of this past year have taught me valuable lessons - and had I not experienced them, I would not appreciate where I am today. I have made progress by leaps and bounds. I feel solid in my growth, and grateful everyday for all of my blessings. I am not saying that it is easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but it is definitely getting easier.
Ray and I have been divorced for a little over four months now, and it is still hard. When we were just "separated", there was still a bit of safety. I was still cared for, loved, and provided for. My things were still mine. I guess it hasn't quite sunk in yet that it is over. It's not necessarily a bad thing - just different (as I always say).
Christmas is going to be strange. In my mind's eye, I see the remnants of Christmases past, and am foggy-eyed and nostalgic over the memories. There were good times in there - of course. In twenty-five years together, there sure were. In a lot of ways I miss him. He was my protector, my provider..... He was chivalrous, and sometimes gentle. Enough of that. I need to write - and if I focus on him, I will get nowhere.... I digress.
So this Christmas, I get the girls for the evening of the 24th, and the morning of Christmas. For that, I am grateful. I am just a bit stressed over how to go about decorating, shopping, and cooking for the holiday when I am full-time caregiver for my parents. That alone is enough to wipe a person out completely. I will just have to do the best that I can.
Remember that you must take time for you, to breathe to heal to laugh and have fun. You are very good in the caregiver role, no one would disagree with that. The one you forget to care for is you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a joy and blessing you are to your parents.
Christmas will be different and I know you will make the most of the time you have with your raccoons and they will enjoy the new traditions you will start. Remember, it isn't about the things but about the love put into it.
You are doing a great job. This year has been full of changes that would have torn down other people but you have risen to the challenges and are a role model to those who have been blessed to watch. You have taught your girls so much thru this journey.
I look forward to seeing what the next year holds in store for you.
Loves!